When you have a dream all your life, and you are fortunate enough for it to come true and then you destroy it....how do you continue? When that one dream made you complete. never knowing what it felt like to be full, you have no way to understand the feeling of emptiness. I have been more full then I could have ever imagined. and I threw it all away......Now I know an emptiness that is infinite. How do you live with yourself when you disgust yourself?